Blog #5 My thoughts on having children

I have some very strong opinions about having children, some of which are not popular with feminists who feel that a woman should be able to have it all - career, marriage, children, social life. But as a mother to 4 children, now grown, I have a perspective that I didn't have when my children were young, and in that perspective, I see this truth - if you can't or don't want to raise your kids yourself, don't have them. The days are gone in which the primary purpose for all women was to marry and produce a family, no matter whether they wanted to mother a child or not. So why do we have children? Some women have children to please someone else - parents, inlaws or a spouse. But is that fair to a child - born because the mother wants to please someone in her life? I think not. Other reasons - to feel personally fulfilled, to fight loneliness or boredom, to have "something" that belongs to her...the list goes on. I think way too many women look at childbearing as a right, not a privilege and look at children as possessions, not human beings. I believe that once that life has been created, that mother has the RESPONSIBILITY to provide a loving and nurturing home for her baby, above all else. That child is entitled to protection, nourishment, guidance, love, understanding, dignity and nurture. Our world is full of throw-away children, conceived carelessly or for selfish reasons, so I believe that women who choose to remain childless should be congratulated for making a responsible decision. Pro-choice to me means one thing – we have the right to choose whether to become pregnant or to avoid becoming pregnant. Responsibility is the key. (Please note that I am not referring here to pregnancies that result from rape or abuse.)